“I want you and Daddy to drive me to my college school when I go there ok?”

While reading a bedtime story…
“Can you pause the book please? I need to pee.”

“When was the war?”
“What war?”
“The one where America won.”
“Um….”

“Why do moms and dads touch their lips for a long time when they kiss, but brothers and sisters don’t?”

“Why do you have to cut the grass so much?
“Because otherwise it will grow into a jungle.”
“I want it to be a jungle.”
“I don’t.”
“But then panda bears can come live with us.”
“Oh, well in that case…”

“What is Jesus’s favorite color?”

“Do you think that church mails my tithe to Jesus? Do they know his address?”

After looking at pictures of the new princess Charlotte —
“I wanna be a princess. How do I do that?”
“You marry a prince.”
“Ok great. Where do I find one?”
“Good question.”