Forty years ago today, my parents got hitched.
My dad had a fro and they both wore white — keepin’ it classy.
But in all seriousness, these two have reached a milestone that’s becoming less and less common in modern society. Together they’ve built a life to be proud of and taught me some very valuable lessons about marriage along the way.
Your spouse is your best friend. No other person on earth should be more vital to you then your spouse, including your kids. A successful marriage is built on a foundation of trust and friendship. This is not to say that other relationships aren’t important, but at the end of the day it should be your spouse that you turn to for advice, comfort, solace and love.
Except when they aren’t. Stay faithful. Even your best friend will hurt, disappoint and annoy you. Growing up, my parents were careful to have their nastiest arguments out of earshot of us kids. But it’s a funny thing when you become an adult and find out that your parents are people too. Crazy, imperfect people. Come hell or high water, my parents remained faithful to each other. They did not seek the arms of others even when that may have been more desirable. You might not always like what your spouse does/says, but love is a choice. Wake up every morning choosing to love them, even when it’s hard.
Divorce is not an option. Don’t make it one. Plenty of love-struck newlyweds find the better, richer, in health part easy and as the years stretch on they forget the worse, poorer, and in sickness vow. When you do life together for 40 years, not all of them can be the “best” year. But when you absolutely resolve to take the D-word off the negotiating table, you’re more likely to pursue resolution and reconciliation.
Date your mate. They didn’t have a scheduled weekly date night, but my parents frequently made time together without us kids. Don’t spend years pouring so much of your energies into careers and child-rearing that you forget why you even like each other. Take vacations alone, dress up for a night out together, and never stop trying to impress your spouse like you did when you first met.
Life is an adventure when you forge it together. 40 birthdays, 40 Christmases, 40 summers in the sun. My parents have moved 11 times to 6 states and 2 continents. They saw relocations as amazing opportunities and made an effort to explore and embrace the good in each place we lived. This was excellent preparation for my life as a military spouse. I learned to jump in with two feet and view my marriage as a wonderful shared adventure, no matter where we land.
Chocolate body paint. Well into my own married life, I called home for advice about something trivial and was told they were currently unavailable for comment due to chocolate body paint. Why they even answered the phone or bothered to snicker that detail to me is unthinkable, but I’ll never forget it! {{insert eye roll}} Lesson learned? Don’t get too old or stale to try something fun or new together, especially if it keeps life between the sheets interesting. ;)
Needless to say, I consider myself blessed to have their example of love and commitment to draw from. Their legacy of successful marriage helps shape my own and will continue to set the bar high for generations to come.
Love to you both and thanks for sticking together.
