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Aug 9 2015

a marriage legacy : 40 years together

Posted by hayley
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Forty years ago today, my parents got hitched.

parentswedding

My dad had a fro and they both wore white — keepin’ it classy.

But in all seriousness, these two have reached a milestone that’s becoming less and less common in modern society. Together they’ve built a life to be proud of and taught me some very valuable lessons about marriage along the way.

Your spouse is your best friend. No other person on earth should be more vital to you then your spouse, including your kids. A successful marriage is built on a foundation of trust and friendship. This is not to say that other relationships aren’t important, but at the end of the day it should be your spouse that you turn to for advice, comfort, solace and love.

Except when they aren’t. Stay faithful. Even your best friend will hurt, disappoint and annoy you. Growing up, my parents were careful to have their nastiest arguments out of earshot of us kids. But it’s a funny thing when you become an adult and find out that your parents are people too. Crazy, imperfect people. Come hell or high water, my parents remained faithful to each other. They did not seek the arms of others even when that may have been more desirable. You might not always like what your spouse does/says, but love is a choice. Wake up every morning choosing to love them, even when it’s hard.

Divorce is not an option. Don’t make it one. Plenty of love-struck newlyweds find the better, richer, in health part easy and as the years stretch on they forget the worse, poorer, and in sickness vow. When you do life together for 40 years, not all of them can be the “best” year. But when you absolutely resolve to take the D-word off the negotiating table, you’re more likely to pursue resolution and reconciliation.

Date your mate. They didn’t have a scheduled weekly date night, but my parents frequently made time together without us kids. Don’t spend years pouring so much of your energies into careers and child-rearing that you forget why you even like each other. Take vacations alone, dress up for a night out together, and never stop trying to impress your spouse like you did when you first met.

Life is an adventure when you forge it together. 40 birthdays, 40 Christmases, 40 summers in the sun. My parents have moved 11 times to 6 states and 2 continents. They saw relocations as amazing opportunities and made an effort to explore and embrace the good in each place we lived. This was excellent preparation for my life as a military spouse. I learned to jump in with two feet and view my marriage as a wonderful shared adventure, no matter where we land.

Chocolate body paint. Well into my own married life, I called home for advice about something trivial and was told they were currently unavailable for comment due to chocolate body paint. Why they even answered the phone or bothered to snicker that detail to me is unthinkable, but I’ll never forget it!  {{insert eye roll}}   Lesson learned? Don’t get too old or stale to try something fun or new together, especially if it keeps life between the sheets interesting. ;)

Needless to say, I consider myself blessed to have their example of love and commitment to draw from. Their legacy of successful marriage helps shape my own and will continue to set the bar high for generations to come.

Love to you both and thanks for sticking together.

40th Anniversary

Tags: marriage, our life, parenting
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Feb 21 2014

DC for valentines

Posted by hayley
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The crud hit our house hard this week. And it wasn’t the kids. Thank goodness Monday was a holiday and Handsome was able to man the homefront while I slept off a stomach bug. ALL. DAY. Then, he was mostly out of commission Tuesday. So yeah, good times.

My parents are visiting locally for the month. Last weekend they graciously offered to take the kids and we enthusiastically accepted. Pre-planned vacations and Handsome’s work schedule don’t jive often. But the stars aligned and just Handsome and I jetted to DC for some quality alone time.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

The last time I was in Washington DC, I was a fifth grader. Bonus points to whoever can find me!

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

The absolute grandeur of DC never escaped my memory and it didn’t disappoint, even as an adult.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

So much to see, so little time. We started at the Natural History Museum.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

The iconic Fenykovi’s African elephant in the rotunda was originally unveiled in 1959. He is the largest elephant ever killed by man; 24,000 lbs, 13ft high and 27 ft long.

 DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Trying my hand at pre-historic art.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Those hands were free to hold his, walking slowly through the snow… stuff we rarely do when chasing kids through vacations.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Handsome won the coin toss between Air and Space and the Art Museums.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Funny story… John Glenn actually lives in the same high rise condo building as my parents. I’ve never met him, but he must be short ’cause this suit was tiny.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

I call this “Selfie with Bi-Plane.”

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Mars or Arizona? You decide.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

I’m ordering moon rock for my next house. Granite, pssh…. these counters are Olivine Basalt, aka: moon rock.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

I think my favorite museum we visited was the Newseum on Pennsylvania Ave. It’s the history of the news and newsworthy events and if you’re ever in DC, I highly recommend it. (View from the balcony)

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

So many neat things in there, but a couple emotionally moving pieces include a section of the Berlin Wall with Checkpoint Charlie tower…

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

…and the spire from the North Tower of the World Trade Center with international front pages from Sept 11th in the background.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

It was cold our last day, but we bundled up and briskly walked the war memorials on the National Mall. I teared up a couple times. It hits close to home.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Abe in all his white marble glory. Handsome and I had fun finding the one mis-spelling in his inauguration speech.

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

We love our kids. But children need to know that you value your marriage enough to occasionally put it first. Small overnights or long weekends away can infuse so much new life into your relationship.

We belly laughed and really listened to each other. It was the most wonderful Valentines I’ve ever had.

Did my impeccable taste for geometric fashion help you find me?!

DC for valentines  |  greyhouseharbor.com

Tags: marriage, vacation
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I'm Hayley. Wife and mother by day, DIY enthusiast by night. Fueled by sweet tea and jelly beans, I own power tools and know how to use them. Consider yourself warned.

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