memorial day | Grey House Harbor

May 30 2016

on behalf of a grateful nation

Posted by hayley

From the beginning of the Revolutionary War in 1775 to present day, over 1.3 million Americans have paid for our freedom with their lives.

As we remember and reflect on their sacrifices today, my heart turns to the millions of families who have borne the burden of that loss.

After all, they are the ones left behind to navigate the remainder of their days without their father, mother, husband, wife, son, daughter, brother or sister. They are the ones who feel the sting of that sacrifice on more than just one Monday in May.

During WWII, nearly 12% of the American population was serving in The Armed Forces. As such, most citizens were related to or personally knew someone in uniform.

Today less than 1% of our population has taken that oath to protect the other 99%.

I fear this has created a culture of disconnected ignorance. Wars today require zero sacrifice from the civilian population, and therefore zero understanding. Zero understanding leads to zero awareness. Zero awareness leads to zero gratitude. And zero gratitude is a dangerous threat to those very freedoms so many have died to defend.

At the close of a military funeral, the flag that drapes the coffin is removed, folded and presented to the next-of-kin. As the white-gloved military official hands over the flag, they say “On behalf of the President of the United States, the United States (Army, Marine Corps, Navy, Air Force or Coast Guard ), and a grateful nation, please accept this flag as a symbol of our appreciation for your loved one’s honorable and faithful service.”

But are we truly a grateful nation? Are we aware of why we’ve been afforded the luxury of a long weekend? Are we teaching these things to our kids, so that they will know their carefree childhoods have a cost?

Let us not forget the ones who have died so that we may live free in this great nation. Let us remember the broken hearts of the families they leave behind.

They are six words I hope never to hear. But should God ever call us to walk that path, I’d want to know that it is not in vain.

Let us seek to understand their sacrifices so that, when the next family is handed a folded flag, it is sincerely “on behalf of a grateful nation.”

* Special thanks to the grounds keeping staff at the Albert G. Horton Jr. Memorial Veteran’s Cemetery for allowing the kids and I to assist them in placing Memorial Day flags this year.

Tags: memorial day, military, our life

2 comments

May 27 2016

retiring old glory {how to dispose of an old flag}

Posted by hayley

We’re a pretty patriotic bunch and have great respect and pride in the symbol of our nation: the American flag.

Most people know that, out of such respect, you should never allow our flag to touch the ground. But, my kids know a few more of the rules too; if it flies past sunset, it should have a light on it; if it’s raining, the flag comes inside; and the stars always go in the upper left corner, whether hung horizontally or vertically.

When we moved to Virginia, before a single photo was hung inside, we put up a pole and flew a flag out front. After 3 years of faithful service our original front porch flag was faded and worn.

Instead of just doing it myself, I’m a believer in using ordinary tasks —like changing out an old flag— as teaching moments. My kids learned a few more tips on proper flag etiquette and how to neatly fold it into a ceremonial triangle.

Looking at it next to our new flag, we realized just how faded it really was! Long overdue for retirement.

But how do you properly retire or dispose of an old flag?

According to the US Flag Code, “when a flag is so tattered that it no longer fits to serve as a symbol of the United States, it should be destroyed in a dignified manner, preferably by burning.”

There’s a difference between burning the flag in protest or hatred and burning it as a respectful means of disposal. If you have an old flag ready for retirement, you can take it to your local Veterans of Foreign Wars, American Legion, or Boy Scouts of America — all of whom offer flag disposal services.

Upon researching options in our area, I stumbled upon this news article about Sturtevant Funeral Home. Their flag donation program cremates each veteran with a donated flag – ensuring that old flags are disposed of properly and that no veteran is cremated without a red, white and blue tribute.

How to Dispose of an Old American Flag | greyhouseharbor.com

via L. Todd Spencer | Virginia Pilot

What a powerful opportunity to teach Bug and Songbird not only about flag etiquette, but to reinforce the real reason we value our flag as a symbol of our freedoms and those who have fought to protect it.

The cookies were just an unexpected bonus.

Upon returning home, Songbird was careful to drape Old Glory over her arm while she and Bug hooked it to the pole.

When I see bold stars and stripes flying high in the sunshine, my heart swells with pride for this great nation I am privileged to call home. I remember that men and women have given their lives in order for those flags to fly unhindered. To show the American flag proper respect in use and in retirement is the least we can do to honor the sacrifices of so many.

Tags: memorial day, military, our life, parenting, proper flag disposal

1 comment

May 22 2015

begin by remembering : a weekend challenge

Posted by hayley

I don’t write many posts on here about the fact that Handsome is in the military. It’s not that we aren’t super duper proud of that fact. We totally are. And it’s not that it doesn’t influence how we live or function on a daily basis. It totally does.

I suppose it’s because, although military service is his profession of choice, it’s not the end all and be all of who we are as a family. To some, the sacrifices and pace of his job might seem overwhelming, but to us this is just life. And its a good life indeed.

Most Americans know there are two days our country has set aside to honor and remember citizens who have served in our military. But many confuse the two; unaware of the very poignant difference between them.

Veterans Day is November 11th: this is the time to thank anyone and everyone who has or is currently serving in the armed forces. Go crazy posting vintage photos of family members in uniform, tweeting patriotic shout-outs, and texting your Great Uncle Bob your appreciation for his service in Vietnam.

The other day is always the last Monday in May – Memorial Day. Too many Americans view this holiday as only the traditional beginning of summer; a time to bust out the BBQs, speedboats, and strawberry lemonade. Consumer advertising does their part to make you think this weekend is about scoring the best deal on a new mattress or SUV.

But they’re wrong.

Memorial Day is not to remember everyone who has served, but rather it is one day dedicated solely to those who didn’t come home.

We have been fortunate. In the many years of living this life, building friendships with military families all over the country, we have been spared the loss of someone close. I have known loss at arms length though: the friend of a friend, a colleague of Handsome, and several in his larger group of comrades. I have received email notifications of tragedy and bowed my head in prayer for the shattered families. I have stood at military funerals and shed tears as men in crisp white uniforms play taps beside a flag draped coffin. My kids have played with the children of women widowed by war.

People in this community don’t readily forget what the good life actually costs.

The irony is that all the amazing things you’ll spend this weekend doing (camping, boating, eating, swimming, beach lounging, movie going, and such) are exactly what thousands of fellow Americans have died to protect. If they were here, it’s what they would be doing too. They wouldn’t want us to spend a sunny 3-day weekend mourning them.

But the next few days, I plan to begin my summer by remembering. Not just a Facebook status saying “Oh, thanks to everyone who paid the ultimate price protecting our freedom.” Those are just empty words.

Instead, I plan to memorize one name; one American who traded his/her future for mine. I will teach my children that they live in the greatest country on Earth, but only because others are willing to lay down their lives to keep it that way.

My challenge to you is the same. Do not thank the ones still living, but instead choose to remember just one fallen solider. Maybe find someone from your home state or that shared your birthday. Memorize their name, where they came from and when they died. Search the internet to find news articles about their life or dedication pages set up in their memory. Pray for the family they left behind. Keep them on your heart as you enjoy your holiday weekend.

Genuine remembrance is the greatest honor we can bestow on those who deserve it most.

* * *

Honor the Fallen is an excellent place to search for a service member to honor.

Tags: memorial day, military, parenting

1 comment